Inspiration: Film Edition

It's not particularly difficult to find an article or blog post about fashion in movies and find ways to put together Clueless or Heathers-esque outfits. That is not stopping me from writing this. In addition to those movies, I want to point out a few more films that can be considered sources of outfit inspiration. However, instead of just focusing on emulating the actual outfits worn by the characters, I want to use the feeling you get from watching a particular film to create an outfit. Yeah, we're about to get really touchy-feely in here.

Nancy Drew

There is something about this movie that has made me watch it over and over again since it was released in 2007. It boasts some sort of lesson about being yourself, which is apparent when you compare Nancy's (Emma Roberts) outfit with the other furry boot-wearing popular girls in the film. The salesgirl in the above photo recognizes Nancy's originality, saying that she "loves the sincerity." That makes my inartistic self want to go gather a bunch of random fabrics and sew them together to create an outfit that's only awesome to me and about two other people. This film is a great one to watch if you want inspiration for an ultra sincere/preppy detective vibe. Let's just say I went out and bought penny loafers after my first viewing.

Heathers

On the opposite end of the spectrum, the classic 1988 film Heathers portrays the preppy look (and lifestyle) in a very dark and ironic manner. The plaids and colorful tights are worn by girls who make the Mean Girls look like misunderstood sweethearts. The brightness of their clothing make the morbid occurrences of murder and suicide look positively stylish. I'm not saying you should dress like the Heathers in preparation for some deadly activities, but there's nothing wrong with being influenced by their bitchtastic style. Also, remember the higher the shoulder pads, the more power you will hold.

Matilda

Nothing says "childish whimsy" quite like Matilda, which I find to be a sorely underrated film. I mean, the kid develops psychokinesis because she isn't using her brain enough! There's a message there about the consequences of not valuing education. Whatever. Miss Honey's overalls may appear childish in 2011, but I think they speak volumes of her sweetly optimistic personality. The green world setting of her humble abode make such an outfit possible, and inspires one to throw on a pair of denim overalls and hang out in the grass with a good book. (Okay, perhaps not everyone would ever be inspired to put on overalls. To each his/her own.)

Uptown Girls

Speaking of childish whimsy (and overalls), I love the role reversal (that is especially evident in the above photo) of the two main characters in Uptown Girls. In this movie, which critics hated but I've always adored, Molly (Brittany Murphy) is the free-spirited adult who refuses to grow up and Ray (Dakota Fanning) is the uptight ballerina who won't let loose. Since Molly lives a fairy tale life, she dons a wide assortment of pretty dresses and flowy skirts (did I mention the overalls?), which contrasts well with Ray's structured school uniform. Anyone looking for inspiration for a princess-like outfit should watch this movie.

Clueless

We end with an epic movie that supports this theory: If you put effort into how you look, you will end up looking better than everyone else. In a bonus feature on the Clueless DVD, writer/director Amy Heckerling talks about how the tendency of 1995 high school kids to dress like dirty supporters of the grunge movement ultimately provoked Cher to dress the way she did. This means lots of plaid (jackets and skirts, not flannel), knee-high socks, headbands, and of course, that notorious Calvin Klein dress. She taught us that it is worth the effort it takes to look good. Putting an outfit together carefully reflects a creative mindset that understands and respects the fact that other people are going to be subjected to look at him or her.

One Step Closer

The California Senate passed a bill Thursday requiring public schools to teach kids about the history of gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender people. If the bill makes it through the State Assembly and is signed by Governor Jerry Brown, that would mean California would be the first state that requires kids to learn about gay history. Possible consequences of the passing of this bill would include a decrease in the amount of gay kids killing themselves due to the bullying they're forced to endure and learn about important figures (i.e. Harvey Milk) and events that shape gay history.

The implementation of this bill is essential if society is ever going to overcome the frightening amount of homophobia that is STILL running rampant. Perhaps other less liberal states are a little more in need of the history lesson, but California is notorious for being the first to make drastic steps to become more progressive. Other states would be wise to follow suit. And the fact that there is opposition to this bill is exactly why it should be made law in the first place.

One easy way to see the negative, generally homophobic reactions to this bill is to check Yahoo! News comments. The same people who only get their news via the headlines they see when they check their email are the ones who leave comments such as these:

"Instead of teaching our kids sciences and math so they can compete in the global economy, we are gonna waste our time teaching them that it is OK to be gay." - SDJ

Because teaching kids that there's nothing wrong with being gay is somehow going to prevent them from competing in the global economy. Open-mindedness certainly wouldn't get them anywhere, right?

Or there's this little gem:

"California: Trying to indoctrinate your kids into homosexuality since 2011" - Jason

Indoctrinate? So since kids are also learning about African American history and Mexican American history, they may actually become African American or Mexican American? Does that mean when men learn about women's history...they may... TURN INTO WOMEN?!

"This is the begining of the end. Gays say they want tollerance for their sick and twisted lifestyle, but they demand100% acceptance, and they don't care if it's a forced acceptance brought upon by our morally corrupt politicians. Look, I don't care what two people do behind closed doors, but don't force me and my family to accept your disgusting sexual desires as normal." - Michael

How selfish and demanding for them gays to want to be accepted and not called "disgusting" or "sick and twisted!" This comment is evidence of the dire need for this bill to be passed. Unfortunately, anything this Michael fella ever learned in school clearly went in one ear and out the other, anyway. Looks like somebody didn't do too well on their third-grade spellings tests.

Read the comments on New York Magazine's version of the article and you'll see a greater number of positive, pro-equality responses to the bill. I think "ADRIAN_IN_DALLAS" says it best:

"All I can say is it's about damn time!"

The Downside of (Alleged) Cultural Literacy

The purpose of being an English major, I have recently discovered, is to make me "culturally literate." The novels, short stories and poems that have been selected to assist in this process are ones that have been deemed the greatest. They will change the lives of those who read them and make them more empathetic to the human condition.

If anything, since being forced to endure these "literary greats," I have become less empathetic to the human condition. Most of the authors whose works I have been reading have killed themselves, created characters who have killed themselves, or are clearly quite tempted to kill themselves.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not opposed to making my boyfriend read me Sylvia Plath poems aloud while I fall asleep. The summer before my senior year of high school, I read Flowers for Algernon for fun. And I love me some inky-cloaked Hamlet every so often. But would it be such a crime to assign literature that isn't meant to torment and depress the reader in order to get a message across? Almost every story I've read in my Bible-like Norton Anthology for American Lit this semester involves some old dude who is depressed because he's on the brink of death and he's filled with regret, blah blah blah. It's not surprise that I would rather hang out with Becky Bloomwood than one of those schmucks.

I propose that in addition to the soul-killing literature that is shoved down our throats faster than we can swallow, we should be reading some Chuck Klosterman essays that provoke thinking about life in a way that is funny and relevant without being sad and pseudo-meaningful. Or we can read a novel that addresses tough questions but gives at least a hint of hope at the end, such as the ending to The Perks of Being a Wallflower:

"So, if this does end up being my last letter, please believe that things are good with me, and even when they’re not, they will be soon enough.
And I will believe the same about you."

Doesn't that sound a little less depressing than sitting through an hour and five minutes listening to people discuss the meaninglessness of life as it relates to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead?

It is. There can still be educational value in optimism, and that's coming from a self-proclaimed pessimist. So until the literature proves to be less suicide-inducing, I will spend my class time immersing myself in happier thoughts i.e. by scanning the classroom and deciding what I would do if I were Stacy London and my classmates were actually contestants on What Not To Wear.

Now that gives me hope.

Five Kinds of Funny

Because I like to pretend that I am some sort of expert on things that are funny, I am presenting a list of what I believe to be the five different types of funny and examples of people, real and fictional, who reflect each type. I enlisted Amanda and our neighbor Andrew to help me out, as I don't have a mind of my own. (See #2.)

1) Oddball humor

An oddly funny person is that kid who says things that are so utterly ridiculous that you have no choice but to laugh. This differs from the unintentionally funny category because this person knows exactly what she or he is saying but couldn't care less if everyone around her/him think is confused/shocked. The perfect fictional example of this type would be Phoebe Buffay of Friends. In my life, this person would be my roommate Bianca, who is a bit of an attention whore and will do anything for a laugh. She excels in impersonations.

2) Dry humor

Dry humor, which is the sense of humor shared among me, Amanda and Andrew, is humor that is delivered in a stealth, deadpan manner. It is up to those around us to detect the joke and (hopefully) ultimately laugh. Amanda would define dry humor as "the best, the only way to live and the only way to laugh. Bitches." Andrew would define dry humor as "humor without humor" because it depends on whether or not others are smart enough to get the joke.

An example of dry/dark humor I just witnessed:

Amanda, after Andrew tells her that he has a problem: "Do you have HIV?"
Andrew's response: laughter.

3) Unintentional humor



Sometimes, people say things that are funny without realizing it because they are moderately dim/stupid. Unintentionally funny people are necessary, as they provide you with comic relief without giving you that feeling that they're looking down on you. My roommate Allison is the perfect example of the unintentionally funny individual. She may not realize how funny she is, but genuine people like her are necessary in order for there to be balance in society (and in my dorm room).

4) The Caricature

There's always that guy you can't describe. He's both intentionally and unintentionally funny. He's smart, but completely unaware of how bizarre he is. Andrew's roommate Erasmo is the perfect example of this type. As my roommate Bianca says, "You can't even believe that he's a real person." Just watching his facial expressions can make even one of high standards for funny burst out laughing. When I ask Erasmo how he would describe his humor, he says, "Sarcastic, negative and sometimes very positive. And rude. And rough." The fabulous way he just said "and rough" is what makes him this bizarre caricature.

5) The Joey Gladstone

This is the one who thinks he (let's face it; it's usually a he) is hysterical, but he actually just wants to make you want to eat your own teeth. He always goes for the obvious joke and the easy "that's what she said." He is also quite fond of doing poor impressions that really just depress you because you know it means he watches too many cartoons.

So What If I'm Shallow?

Today in one of my creative writing classes, I was forced to tell the class about myself. When I mentioned having been to London, I said that I spent a majority of the trip shopping and that when I was in museums and other historically significant places, I was thinking about shopping. ("Yes, self. You really should go back to Topshop and buy that sequin jacket. Oh, cool building.") My class scoffed in an incredibly obvious manner. I could practically smell the waves of condescension being sent my way.

My professor, along with all of my snotty, well-read peers, were appalled by my preference of clothes over more socially-acceptable-among-English-majors interests. I think this obnoxious reaction stems from that incessant need modern snobs have to put up an intellectual front instead of just admitting that they're not perfect. In a paper I wrote on Oscar Wilde back in April, I wrote, "Others denounce the act of being 'frivolous,' while Wilde celebrates it becuse it is better to flaunt one's true self than to be forced by society to put up a facade of moral righteousness to shield these shallow qualities." I loved writing that paper, not only because it was validating my existing beliefs, but because it reminded me that it's better to act like yourself, no matter how shallow he or she may be, than to put on a mask in order to impress an ever-judging society.

This is probably why I love Glee so much. Have I not talked about Glee enough already? The character Kurt Hummel (played by the talented Chris Colfer, whom I love and adore) is not afraid to be himself. He dresses better than anyone at his school and he's not afraid to wear something different or outrageous. Kurt certainly wouldn't be ashamed to admit to his English class that shopping is the best activity London has to offer.

I feel compelled to mention Clueless, which is one of my all-time favorite movies. Among all of her flannel and baggy pants-wearing peers, Cher wore fabulous jackets and cardigans, in addition to that epic Calvin Klein dress. As a woman of high standards, she knew that it's important to dress well, and was not ashamed to care about things that are considered by society to be shallow.

All of this whining leads me to conclude that no, Prof, I'm not going to write my next piece on how beautiful the trees in London are, because that's not how I roll. I'm going to write about how shopping in that five-floor Topshop made me feel like a motherfucking princess.

Why Sarcasm is Essential

Amanda and I are back and just as obnoxious as usual. This time, we would like to bare our souls, if we even have any at all. We would like to explain to the universe (or the two people who read this. Hi, to both of our moms!) why we use sarcasm every day of our lives.

Amanda says, "Mainly, it was in my DNA. My dad instilled it in me at a young age."

I could say the same thing, as my mother also has a dry sense of humor.

But we can't blame everything on genes. There must be other underlying reasons that explain why we rely so much on sarcasm in every conversation we are involved in. But what are they?

Sarcasm allows us to express, in a hilarious way, what others are thinking but are often too afraid to say out loud. These people are weak, cowardly and unimaginative. We are the opposite of all of those things. We find that it's refreshing when people joke about their real feelings instead of, as Amanda says, "getting mushy gushy and spilling their guts."

Some may say that this is our way of avoiding our feelings, and they would be absolutely correct. And to those people, we say go to hell.

By living our lives this way, we are constantly keeping people on the edge of their seats with our wit, charm and charisma. At times people may be intimidated by such enviable traits. And to those people, we say go to hell.

There are many fabulously sarcastic role models out there to inspire us. One of our favorites is the always witty Chandler Bing, who so wisely said, "I'm not so good with the advice... can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?" We choose to live our lives by this exact quote. We may not be the best advisers, but you can always rely on us to make light of the situation.

Another one of our heroes is Sue Sylvester, Queen of Hard Hearts. She once said, "This year I got myself a bit of an eye lift. And while they were in there, I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. I wasn't usin' 'em." We are looking into having similar surgeries performed on our increasingly useless tear ducts.

In conclusion, yes, we do use sarcasm as a defense mechanism and yes, it does put make others very uncomfortable, but us? We thrive on the discomfort of others. So, again, go to hell.

Love ya like a sister!
And that's the way Panda sees it.
(Panda is our celebrity couple name. Haterz.)

Five Goals for Fall 2010: How We Truly Feel

My roommate Amanda and I are back and better than ever with our thoughts, but this time in written form because we don't look so hot right now. We are presenting a list of goals we would like to accomplish during our fall semester that begins tomorrow. We are confident that our combined perfection will propel us to inevitable success.

1) Survive.

"We need to survive because Aretha says we do," Amanda says. We're both taking 18 credits, we're both idiots and yet for some reason we both have two days of school per week where we have no classes. On those days, Amanda will be taking six naps (on average) instead of her usual three or four. I will be sitting in a dark room turning in internship applications.

2) Mentor our emotional roommate.

Everyone has to have a crying roommate. We handle ours by soaking leather belts in a tub and slapping them against her bare bottom. "It's supposed to be soothing," Amanda says. We also may offer her brutally honest advice that she will not take. At least we try. Emotional roommate's response? "I never thought I'd be the emotional one. You guys like to demean my artichokes."

3) Watch as much TV as possible.

While some college kids may, like, associate with their peers, we prefer to associate with an Insignia 32-inch television (and DVDs from the '90s.) We will be watching Glee, Gossip Girl, The Office (before it starts sucking without Carell) and 30 Rock. Suck it, Donatella Versace. (We're watching Rachel Zoe right now.)

4) Try to get people to accept our humor in our improv class.

We obviously think we're funny, but the world may not agree. We know this is true because we've been told this by the Taco Bell chihuahua. Also, humans. ("As far as we know they were human," Amanda says.) We are going to win their affection, admiration and constant applause/laughter by "pulling out the big guns and telling 'yo momma' jokes," according to Amanda. I say if they don't think we're funny when we are being ourselves, they can go watch Two and a Half Men and jump off a one-story building (because we're not that cruel).

5) Avoid hoes.

This includes people who we just don't like for reasons we cannot explain, as well as girls who wear disgustingly short skirts/dresses because as Amanda said two years ago, "Just because the sun is out, doesn't mean her vag should be, too."