Sunday, August 8, 2010

Life = Not a TV Show (But it should be!)

This is something my mother has been reminding me of for probably about 15 years. I am living in a fantasy world, I hear. I need to stop having such high standards, I hear. I need to stop expecting everyone to be as funny and honest and interesting as people are on TV, I hear.

Well, what's the fun in that?

My life isn't exactly nothing like TV, though. I'd say this summer was a mixture of the first seven episodes of season one of The O.C. and the entire second season of The Office. (Oh yes, it can be both.) Instead of delving into why my summer was comparable to such shows because that's why we have journals, I am going to instead list reasons as to why life should be more like TV.

1) Everyone is clever and capable of engaging in delightful conversation.

Now the people I choose to spend my days with are all smart, hilarious folks who dish out the insults as well as they receive them. I have realized with great sadness, however, that not everyone in the real world is like this. Some people? Not funny at all. Most of them are rather boring. On Friends, no one is boring. On Gilmore Girls, everyone is colorful and interesting. Is it so bad that I want everyone in the world to be like that?

2) The perfect music always plays at just the right moments.

I know we don't all have awesome music supervisors editing meaningful songs into our lives, but I think it's something they (I don't know who "they" is) should work on. It'd be so much more convenient if the music were actually playing in the moment instead of either having to control it ourselves (which is awkward) or having to replay the moments back when actually listening to the songs.

3) Everyone dresses well, because duh, they're on TV.

I haven't complained about how people dress in what, like five minutes? I'm way overdue! Perhaps I'm still bitter because I got the door slammed in my face at Starbucks this morning by a dude wearing camouflage shorts (I could still see him) and a woman sporting an Ed Hardy top and sweats. Can't we all just pretend we're on TV all the time? I'm not saying we should all act like drama queens/kings, but if pretending a camera is around is what it takes for people to dress better, then that's what we should all do.

4) It's not that big of a deal if you're an asshole.

Think about the characters we know and love. Dr. House? Total a-hole. Dr. Cox? Major douche. All of those Friends? They insulted each other constantly. Why is it that ordinary viewers claim to love all of these awful people, yet they don't appreciate such characters in real life? When people (possibly me) make dry and crude statements in real life, they don't receive the best reception. They're just assumed to be mean. I say we need to appreciate the mean more. Plus, it makes the moments when we realize that such people really do have hearts all the more meaningful.

5) Everyone is (at least eventually) honest, all the time.

In real life, we're forced to keep up with the six or so forms of communication. On TV, most communication and confrontation happens via person to person conversation. Because it's more interesting for viewers if people declare things in a dramatic fashion, TV characters lash out, freak out and sometimes completely lose their shit (see video below). Sometimes, I think this makes them more real than actual people.

^This is actually pretty hilarious. "What's up, Quippy?! Why so silent?"

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